Why Victor can't visit the U.S.

 

FRIDAY, MAY 7, 2010

Why Victor can't visit the U.S.

In the mid-90s, I was naive about some aspects of immigration.

I knew all about the homophobia of our immigration laws: how citizens can bring a spouse into the U.S., but not a same-sex partner.

Living my whole life in south Texas and southern California, I also knew about all the issues around undocumented Mexicans in the U.S.

But I also knew that plenty of Mexicans came to visit with proper papers, so I thought that was easy, just a tourist visa. I had a lot to learn about tourist visas!

I was shocked when Victor's first application for a tourist visa was denied. The vague denial information from the State Department didn't help.

A staffer in my Congressman's office explained it to me more thoroughly. The U.S. needs to be convinced that a visa applicant will return to Mexico. How are they convinced? If you have a good job to return to in Mexico, that helps. If you have money in the bank in Mexico, a spouse and children well-established in Mexico, if you own a home in Mexico, if you have a non-refundable return ticket, if you've traveled outside of Mexico in the past and returned -- these sorts of things help convince the U.S. State Department that you will return to Mexico.

If, on the other hand, like Victor in the 90s, you're prime working age, your job in Mexico pays near minimum wage (Mexico minimum wage!), you have no wife or kids (!), you own no property, you have no savings, .... Well, forget it!

And there's nothing I could do to promise that Victor would return to Mexico, since, as the Congressman's aide put it, "Kidnapping is illegal." That is, short of locking someone in chains, there's no way to guarantee that they'll get back to Mexico.

On our second application, I wrote offering to post a monetary bond, but the application was denied again.

We tried once more. This time, I went with Victor to speak to the U.S. consul. He bluntly told us to stop wasting our time and money; Victor would not be getting a tourist visa.

We got the message. We gave up, and decided to travel outside of the U.S. (So far, Costa Rica, British Columbia, Argentina and, of course, all over Yucatán.)

At the time, I had hopes that maybe the politics of immigration would improve in the future. Ha! With Dubya's election, 9/11, vigilante border militias, things just kept getting worse.

Please support the Uniting American Families Act, and comprehensive immigration reform that includes it. Thanks!

Why Victor still isn't visiting the U.S.

 

THURSDAY, APRIL 17, 2014

Why Victor still isn't visiting the U.S.

It's past time for me to update "Why Victor can't visit the U.S."

Last June, the day after the Supreme Court overturned the "Defense of Marriage Act", I heard for the first time about K-1 fiancé visas. It was immediately clear to me that Victor would be able to use this to enter the U.S.

But I had questions. I wasn't sure how to show that Victor would not become a financial burden to U.S. taxpayers. If Victor once entered the U.S. illegally more than 20 years ago (hypothetically speaking!), would that be a problem? What would Victor's citizenship status be, in both Mexico and the U.S. after we married? If he returned to live in Mexico after we're married, could he then easily visit me repeatedly at length for years afterwards? Do I need a prenuptial agreement? And more along these lines.

I eventually did speak with a gay immigration attorney and got some answers. The biggest problem is that the U.S. State Department has a stunted idea of married living arrangements. They make no provision for a married couple who do not want to live permanently together in the U.S.

Victor is not quite ready to retire, and is not ready to move here permanently. We envision some years, maybe many years, of exchanging weeks- and months-long visits in one another's countries.

But if Victor used a K-1 visa to come to Los Angeles and we got married, in the eyes of the State Department, he is immediately an applicant for permanent residency, and could not leave the U.S. for more than six months at a time. We could probably work with that, but it's not ideal.

So we have decided not to pursue the K-1 visa at this time.

Instead, many years after we gave up on it in the past, we might try a simple tourist visa again. Maybe next year, or maybe when Victor retires. And, if that fails again, maybe then we will pursue the K-1 visa.

So there are more possibilities, but there's not yet a perfect solution.

The latest on Victor not visiting the U.S.

 

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 16, 2015

The latest on Victor not visiting the U.S.

As I had decided previously, we applied for a U.S. tourist visa again. Twice in the last five months, actually. After all, I think we have a compelling case:

Why Victor will not overstay a tourist visa and will return to Mexico:

I am a U.S. citizen. Victor and I have been in a long-distance relationship since 1993. I come to Yucatán multiple times every year to be with Victor.
If Victor wanted to stay in the U.S., we would apply for a K-1 fiancé visa and get married.

But his mother and other family are still in Yucatán, and he is not yet ready to retire, so he does not yet want to move to the U.S.

Victor’s salary is irrelevant. I pay for our trips together, within México and internationally (Costa Rica, Canada, Argentina, Netherlands, South Africa, Guatemala). If Victor receives a tourist visa, I will pay for his travels to and within the U.S., including his room and board. I paid for his visa application. I give Victor additional money when I visit.

Victor's hoped-for trips to the U.S. will be brief, 2-3 weeks, each devoted to visiting and sightseeing. No work.

All we want is to be able to exchange visits, instead of my always coming to Yucatán, as I've been doing now for more than 22 years.

Despite the visa application being many pages long and asking about all kinds of things, there is no place to insert the above information. For our first 2015 application, I sent the note as an email to the consulate. I received a rote non-response, including "... your daughter-in-law must demonstrate to the interviewing consular officer... " WTF?!

When we arrived for Victor's interview, I asked whether I could join him, and was told no, only a potential employer could go. Victor answered questions, but was not assertive about saying more. He was told his salary was insufficient and he would not get a visa.

For our next attempt (yesterday), I gave Victor multiple signed copies of the above note, with firm instructions to insist that the interviewer read it, and if they did not, to insist again after the next question and hand over another copy. He did that, repeatedly, and the woman refused to look at it! Grrrr.

Of course, all other information being the same, Victor was again refused a visa.
So let me recap the stupid parts of the U.S. visa process:

• They wrongly assume all married couples must live together.
• They wrongly assume their lengthy visa application captures all relevant information.
• There is no space on the visa application for additional information.
• They won't let another relevant party join the interview.
• They won't accept additional information by email or on paper.

If you know someone in the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) who will actually hear me out, please let me know!

Update, August 2016: As commenters below and others suggested, I contacted my political representatives. No luck.

Still no tourist visa for Victor

 

MONDAY, AUGUST 15, 2016

Still no tourist visa for Victor

Another discouraging update on this 20+ year battle.

As many friends suggested, I tried contacting my political representatives. I had no luck with either my Congressman, Xavier Becerra, or Senator Barbara Boxer.

From Boxer's staff's stock reply:

... It is up to the interviewing Consular officer to consider all the evidence and conclude whether or not the applicant has compelling social, economic and familial ties to leave the United States at the end of a temporary stay....

(emphasis added) Of course, that's our problem: the interviewer does not consider all the evidence! Everyone who does agrees that Victor should get a tourist visa, but that's only my friends and readers. Sigh.

Disqualifying a tourist visa applicant based solely on income is stupid. But as long as that's the rule, it should be part of the application information: "If your income is less than <this amount>, you will not receive a tourist visa."

Fiancé visa application

 

FRIDAY, MAY 12, 2017

Fiancé visa application

In December, Victor surprised me by quitting his ten-year employment at Presur. He said he is now ready to spend enough time in the U.S. to use a fiancé visa and wait for a green card.

When I returned to Los Angeles, I began looking at the application in detail. When I told Victor that he would have to get a passport-style photo, he insisted he wanted to wait and do that together with me during my next planned visit in March. I'm not sure why he didn't want to go by himself, but this meant I couldn't get the application done earlier.

In late March, we got the photos (easy, of course), and I had Victor sign one page of the application, and we asked his mother about her birthdate and information about his father. In April, back in L.A., I began filling out the forms.

I also searched online for information about fiancé visa denials. That's not very common, but I still put together a fat package of material:

• The 6-page application
• The two biographical information forms, one for each of us
• Our two photos
• My check for $535 (!)
• A copy of my birth certificate (required)
• A detailed relationship and visa and travel chronology
• A page about my finances, with proof
• 17 pages with color copies of 32 photos 1993-2017
• Supporting statements from family and friends who know us
• The form requesting notification of receipt

I mailed all that May 1. The Post Office estimated it would get there in about three days, but it wasn't until May 11 that I got the acceptance confirmation email.

Unless we're immediately denied, the next step will be for Victor to fill out another form online in order to sign up for an interview. Although the form questions are available in other languages, the answers must be in English. I'll try to go there to do that with him.

There are scores of sample interview questions online. I will go over those with Victor. I also plan to go with him for the interview. For a fiancé visa, I read that they usually let the U.S. citizen accompany the applicant, although they might not.

I'm pretty hopeful about this. The next two steps — the additional form and the interview — will both make Victor nervous. But I'm still optimistic. I think Victor will get here this year! At long last!

Visa application delay (sigh)

 

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2017

Visa application delay (sigh)

(Follow-up to: previously...)

Two months later than I expected, the feds did finally get to my fiance visa application. But at the end of last week, I saw that I was being sent an RFE ("Request For Additional Evidence"). It arrived yesterday. They now want two additional items:

1. Although I included a statement about our intent to marry, they want a statement from Victor about that as well. I've asked Victor to do that, but it will likely take another week for his signed statement to reach me.

2. Although I included plenty of statements and photos showing that we have been physically together repeatedly, they want some sort of outside-party proof of that, like airline ticket stubs ― who keeps those?? fewer flights now even use them! ― or passport stamps. I'll send some barely legible passport stamps and United Airlines records of some of my flights. I thought for sure they would have a complete record of every time I re-entered the U.S. from Mexico! Silly me!

Apparently, an RFE will usually delay the next steps by about three weeks. I still think Victor will get here, but it may not happen this year after all. Sigh.

Mexico mail delay

 

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 8, 2017

Mexico mail delay

Suspended umbrellas — an art installation in downtown Mérida
As I previously wrote, the feds wanted Victor's statement of intent to marry. He mailed that to me on October 26^th, via airmail. Many years ago, mail to and from Mexico took a long time, and sometimes never arrived, but I hoped that now things were better. No such luck. After three weeks, I still had not received his letter. So I made my shortest-ever trip to Yucatán to get Victor's signed statement.

I mailed everything back to the feds on Nov. 25^th, and they acknowledged receipt on Nov. 28^th. Now we wait for them to check it out and, I hope, then tell us they want Victor to fill out his online application.

Meanwhile, yesterday, Dec. 7^th, I finally received Victor's airmailed letter!

Visa progress: Step 1 complete

 

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 19, 2017

Visa progress: Step 1 complete

Our visa case was approved on Dec. 14th! They do believe that we are free to marry, intend to marry, are not terrorists or criminals, have established a relationship, and have met in person. This is the first of three steps.

Probably next month, the State Department will ask Victor to apply for a visa, including a medical exam. They will conduct more background checks. That is Step 2. If all goes well, they will interview Victor in person at the U.S. consulate in Mérida. That is Step 3. After that, he should get the visa!

I knew Step 2 was for Victor to fill out the lengthy online visa application, and I assumed this week's notice would say to do so. I was prepared to go to Yucatán very soon to help him, since his answers have to be in English. But no, Step 1 was handled by the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS), part of the Department of Homeland Security, and Step 2 is with the State Department. So right now, USCIS is sending our case to the State Department, and we have to wait to hear from them. This could happen in a few weeks, but with the holidays upon us (and with Trump's downsizing of the State Department!), it might take longer. Sigh.

Visa progress: Step 2

 

TUESDAY, MARCH 13, 2018

Visa progress: Step 2

I added time in Mérida before and after our Peru trip so that I could push forward on Victor's visa.

The U.S. Consulate in Juárez handles fiancé visas, and they say they sent some papers to Victor on February 7^th. As of today, he still has not received anything. (See my note about Mexico's postal system!) Fortunately, they also sent a copy of at least the main page to me, mailed from El Paso instead of Juárez!

With that, we were able to complete Victor's lengthy online visa application. I expected to immediately see instructions for selecting an interview date, but that didn't happen. Even after returning from Peru, nothing. When I called, after fighting through the recorded prompts and hunting down my application confirmation number, I finally was told that I needed to pay (more!), wait for the receipt, and then schedule the interview.

The website says this additional fee can be paid online, and I spent a long time unsuccessfully hunting for that. The same page says the fee could be paid by phone, but when I tried that, they said the website needs updating; the fee can only be paid in pesos at specified banks in Mexico. They also could not help with scheduling the medical exam in Juárez, nor could they even tell me whether interview dates were available starting in a week, a month, or six months. Every little step of this process is aggravating. GRRR.

I paid the additional fee this morning and received the email receipt at once. That did enable me to get to the interview appointment page! So we finally have the dates for the final step. Victor will go for fingerprints, etc. in Mérida on April 30^th, and we will then go to Juárez. The medical exam is walk-in, no appointment needed. The interview is set for May 7^th.

Visa progess: Step 2.5

 

THURSDAY, MAY 3, 2018

Visa progess: Step 2.5

I should have known better. I thought this trip would finish everything, but I forgot that there have been unexpected complications and delays at every step. Sigh.

Victor's medical exam x-rays yesterday showed a scar / lesion in his lungs. Now he must follow additional steps to rule out tuberculosis. Just look at what that means:

• The interview next Monday is postponed until this TB check is done.
• He needs to give early morning sputum samples for three consecutive days. Since they're closed on weekends, that means it couldn't start today, Thursday. Instead, it will be next Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
• Our non-refundable flight back to Mérida was for next Tuesday. Now we have canceled that and bought new tickets for next Thursday. We have also extended our hotel stay for two more nights.
• The cultures from the sputum smears take 8 weeks to complete! We will find out the results around July 12th.
• Either immediately after that, or after treatment if he has TB, we will have to make another trip to exciting (* sarcasm *) Juarez for the postponed interview.

So, instead of this trip being the third and final step in the fiancé visa process, it turns out to be Step 2.5. The medical exam itself is complete, but the final interview is postponed. Even if everything now goes as well as it can, Victor won't be in the U.S. until late summer at the earliest. As I said above: Sigh!

More stupid rules

 

WEDNESDAY, JULY 25, 2018

More stupid rules

More State Department stupidity

After waiting 8 damn weeks, the good news is that Victor was not told he has tuberculosis. (He wasn't told no, either. The silence was the message. As I've previously complained, that's stupid.) So next, we waited to hear about the new interview. Again, as I've previously complained, no one could tell us when this would come, nor whether this would come by phone or by email, nor whether it would come to me, to Victor, or to both of us. More stupidity.

New stupid rule #1: Yesterday, about ten days later, I received an email with a new interview date. (P.S. Two days later, I also received a postal letter.) Although I chose the original interview date, this time, they assigned an interview date with no input from us! How stupid! Naturally, the date is the very day I fly to Montréal for my next trip. GRRRR!

New stupid rule #2: Despite several online references to changing appointments, this assigned date can't be changed!

New stupid rule #3: If we wait until after the assigned date, we can get a new interview date. That's right, they would rather wait than do it now. GRRRR!

Because of these stupid rules, we will have to wait until late August to re-schedule the interview. It will be at least a month later, it appears. GRRRR!

The Road Scholar trip to Montréal and Québec City has multiple departure dates. I tried to switch to a later one, but it is so close to the date, I would lose 100% of what I had paid! (Not to mention change fees for air travel)

I discussed one other possibility with Victor: We go to Juárez for his morning appointment, and then I immediately leave for Montréal and Victor returns to Mérida by himself. As I expected, he didn't like that idea and prefers to wait for the later interview.

Fiancé visa on hold

 

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 29, 2018

Fiancé visa on hold

I called back as soon as I could, August 22, to try to get a new interview date. They said they could now report (?!) our missed interview and I should call back in a few days. I called Monday, Aug. 27, while waiting for my connecting flight at the Montréal airport. I could hear them, but they couldn't hear me. I called this morning, Aug. 29, and they said to wait a few more days. They refused to say why, or exactly when, or even how many days it took the last person who got a new interview date. GRRR!

A bit later, I thought I should try the website where I first chose an interview date —  the one that earlier in the summer was simply showing our scheduled Aug. 21 interview. There was a "Continue" button, then a choice for "Missed interview," and a box to explain why. Once I submitted that, I was immediately able to select a new interview date!

On the pop-up calendar, I tried a mid-September date, but it wouldn't click. I tried several times, as well as different dates. October dates were the same. I clicked forward through November. When I got to December, there were clearly dates available. I chose one of the earliest, Dec. 18th. That worked, and we're now set for a new Juárez interview then.

I have no idea why the first available dates were so far in the future. Is it just happenstance, or seasonal, or Trump's State Dept. cuts, or ... ?

So much more needless delay. Now Victor won't be here until next year at the earliest. Sigh.

More damn delays

 

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 18, 2018

Visa: more damn delays

We are in never-exciting Juarez, where we expected to finally get Victor's visa. No such luck. 😒

Yesterday, even though I knew it wasn't needed, we had to visit the applicant service center, an appointment they gave us after I selected the interview date. This is for photo and fingerprints, which we already did. They checked and determined that, yes, we had already done that, and they put a small stamp on one paper.  An unnecessary extra day in Juarez and a waste of time. 😡

Today, when Victor went for his interview appointment, they said that his medical exam in May was now too old! I clearly recall the doctor in May telling us that it was important we complete everything within a year or we would have to re-do the exam. But now, they said the medical exam was only good for six months, and we would indeed have to re-do it. Now the conflict between the interview date they sent me mid-summer and my trip to Montreal and Quebec has become even more consequential! 😠

The minor mob scene outside the U.S. Consulate from about 6 am to mid-day every morning.

And despite his new chest X-ray showing the same damn spot that they previously determined was not TB, they have to determine that again! Yes, we have to stay an extra day in Juarez for Victor to give three days of sputum (again), and yes, we have to wait eight weeks for the culture results (again)! As before, that means discarding non-refundable flight tickets, buying new flights, an additional hotel night, and another trip to Juarez later. Not to mention months of delay in getting Victor to the U.S. 😠

This time, I'll make damn sure I don't schedule any travel until they send us the next interview date! When they send the date following a medical delay, it's generally about a month later. As I learned last time, when I have to choose a date, it winds up being many, many months later.

Every delay makes me more furious that they won't give Victor a tourist visa and that they can't handle fiancé  visas at the U.S. consulate in Mérida! 

As another applicant told Victor today, it seems that everything is set up to force applicants to spend more time and money and emotion than they ever expected to or should ever have to. The service centers, medical clinics, hotels and restaurants around the consulate just love this. Quite a racket. 😠

Visa progress

 

FRIDAY, APRIL 5, 2019

Visa progress

Sudden, silent rule changes

Progress, but not quite complete.

We finally made it through the interview, but now they require us to mail in several documents: an updated official police report showing that Victor still hasn't been arrested (we had one a year ago; now they want another), and both Victor's and my birth certificates (see "rule changes" below). At least we don't have to return to Juarez!

We are also to include Victor's current passport. That's a sign that they will, finally, paste a visa in it!

Victor's interview appointment was for 8:15 am Thursday. He was at the consulate just after 8 am. He did not get out until just before noon! He spent more than three hours waiting in multiple lines.

This time, we only spent one night in Juarez. We flew in Wednesday, had the interview Thursday morning, and flew out Thursday night.

Sudden, silent rule changes

I can't understand why they need our birth certificates, since they've seen our passports! 

Also, Form I-134, about my finances, has a section asking about my U.S. citizenship: if I was born in the U.S., give city and state and SSN. It does not ask for any documentation of that. I had to attach tons of documentation about my finances, but nothing about my citizenship. This form, last updated in February 2019 (!), was one we just submitted at the interview. 

I guess they just changed the rules in March, deciding that now they need documentation.

Visa for Victor, finally!

 

TUESDAY, MAY 7, 2019

Visa for Victor!

Visa for Victor, finally!

We sent the last required documents, and then waited. Starting a few days ago, I've been checking the status daily:

• April 27:   Administrative Processing
• April 28:   Administrative Processing
• April 29:   Administrative Processing
• April 30:   Application Received
• May 1:       Issued

I thought it would be in hand a day or two later, but that didn't happen. When it hadn't arrived on Saturday, May 4^th, I was sure it would come Monday. But on Monday, I received an email saying they were only then giving it to DHL to deliver. Sigh. 

Victor received it May 7^th. I didn't want to say anything to anyone until he had it in hand. Not telling anyone for a week was difficult!

For unknown reasons, it has an expiration date of May 15!! Victor may come to Los Angeles next week!  No one can tell me why it isn't valid for six months, as we expected.

It's been two years since we decided to apply for a fiancé  visa, and it's been more than 25 years (!) since we first tried for a tourist visa. What an unnecessary ordeal!

P.S. We flew into Houston on May 14^th. I could not accompany Victor to his interview, which took about twenty minutes. But it was successful, and he entered the U.S. !! We arrived in Los Angeles on May 15^th.

And here is Victor in his first hour in the U.S.

More TB tests

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2019

More TB tests

[I'm sorry this last post is awkwardly colored and formatted. I can't yet fix it.]

On May 30, I received a voice message for Victor from the county Health Department. When we returned the call, they said Victor had to come in for TB tests! First Victor, then I, told them repeatedly that Victor had already had TWO sets of TB tests, all negative, but the woman said that because immigration had informed them about Victor's x-rays, he had to come in for more tests on June 17th. I was angry, but we wrote down the appointment.

A few days later, we received a follow-up letter with our appointment and a cover note that included this:

Although you were cleared for entry into the US, this pre-immigration [TB] exam was not intended to diagnose or treat extra-pulmonary TB, non-infectious pulmonary TB,or Latent TB infection.... We recommend [actually, require !] that you have a medical exam to determine if you have active TB disease.

Had they explained that on the phone, I would have not have been so upset.

On June 17th, they took another lung X-ray, took Victor's medical history, and took a sputum sample. Then we learned that he has to (again!) give a sputum sample twice more, come another time for blood tests, and come a fifth time for final results. Gee, despite what the letter said, they're re-doing exactly what we've done twice in the past in Juarez! All they can say in explanation is that they don't fully trust the clinics in Juarez. You know, the ones they insisted we visit! I'm pissed! 👿

And, of course, after all that, when we went again on August 26th, they said the tests were negative and we were done. What a waste of time!